I was hoping to start this earlier, say at the beginning of the semester. What can I say? I'm a procrastinator. I'm here now, though, and ready to offer my keen insights. I just wish I had any.
Let's start with something easy; those ridiculous printers in the GS Lounge and the insanely comfortable chairs at the tables. I want to know why they can’t repair or replace the former and where I can get the latter.
First the printers. I’m sure I’m not alone in this experience. You come in early to print something or you’ve stayed late to finish a paper and lo and behold Lewisohn a is jammed. “No problem,” you say to yourself, “there’s another printer I can use.” The only problem is Lewisohn b is out of toner. There must be 10,000 printers on this campus, but I swear that these are the only ones which seem to have existential crises. Sure, I could go elsewhere, but I don’t want to wait around in the printing lab with a bunch of unwashed 18-year olds. Hormones smell bad. If you don’t believe me, hang out in Butler for a while. Maybe hygiene should be part of the CC core curriculum. I guess that the fault is really mine for clinging to the insane hope that when I really need them, the printers will work. Silly me, I'm only paying $30,000 a year to go here.
If the printers are the first major disappointment of my Ivy League experience, then those chairs are my first surprise. I’m not talking about the red, fake leather things that line the back. The ones I’m referring to are those beautiful black chairs at the tables. No matter how you sit in them, they accommodate you comfortably. It’s like some science fiction chair that molds itself to your body. Want to rock back? No problem. Feel confined by the arms? Go ahead and lift them up. Good posture, bad posture, padded ass or bony those chairs are damn near perfect. I kind of want to take one, but I feel like it would be a little suspicious if people saw me leaving campus carrying a chair. Plus they just put up those new cameras. Maybe this is a job for GSSC. Stop screwing around organizing softball games and homecoming brunches that nobody attends. Do something useful and find out where we can get those damn chairs.
